The last 20 days of my life have been a series of emotions running throughout me. I know I normally write about Katie and the struggles and triumphs of having a preemie with special needs but this one is just for me.
It all started the morning of September 11th 2017 when I had my very first mammogram 2 days prior to my 34th birthday and they found a lump in my left breast as you can imagine that’s very disconcerting when you are as young as I am and it started off a series of events that are still ongoing. They biopsied it on the 15th of September and came back as a benign tumor (which has a 1 in 10 chance for cancer) which my doctor failed to tell me for a month that it was benign he just kept saying most likely benign and I don’t know about you but if I were to tell you lets hang out there’s a 1 in 10 chance I won’t murder you, I imagine you’d be like that’s okay I’m going to stay home tonight. So finally October 19th I’m told it’s definitely benign so I spent a month being stressed and worried for no reason.
Shortly after I schedule my consult with the plastic surgeon to perform the breast reduction I’ve been needing/wanting for some time hence the mammogram in the first place. We set up a date for it. January 5th 2018, I’m thrilled but scared to go through such a major procedure that will take weeks/months to heal completely from but I just know it will make my life better.
So the day comes and it’s the morning of the 5th and my mom is with me while my hubs watches Katie, it’s an overnight stay and I know I’m in good hands. I see the breast surgeon who is removing the tumor I mentioned above (the put a wire in it and I felt like one of those old movie sets with the bunny ears), the plastic surgeon who draws all over me and the anesthesiologist who happens to be our pediatrician’s brother in law (small world)!! They give me the medication and the last thing I remember is someone saying “breath in this oxygen”. I wake up hours later and in pain but it’s done. The GG’s are gone and I look down and feel like he took them all off. The hospital stay was mostly uneventful other than I watched 5 hours of Futurama and a terrible movie called “The Wolfman” which I do not recommend. I came home Saturday afternoon, uncomfortable but bearable and spend pretty much all the weekend sleeping.
I go for my first follow up visit on the following Wednesday (the 10th) and low and behold I’m one of that 20 percent that end up with skin issues at the T junction so to me this is the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life and I’m despondent and can’t stop crying because my breasts look like Frankentits in my eyes. They give me wound care instructions and send me on my way. Then the 18th comes around the follow up with the breast surgeon who took out the tumor and it turns out I have ADH or atypical ductal hyperlasia. Which basically means my cells in my breasts are growing strange and have a chance to turn pre-cancerous that could turn into cancer. Awesome!!! I’m so thrilled to have the big C hanging over my head again in less than 6 months!!
So now I have to set up an oncology appointment to discuss options at 34 years old. 34 YEARS OLD. I went straight pass denial and right into anger. I don’t know why life seems to want to break me but it’s doing it’s damnedest to. The appointment was today and I’m glad the hubs came with me because I would have classified myself as a “hostile” patient. Like I said lots of anger and currently as it stands I have a 1 in 3 chance of developing breast cancer if I do nothing but if I take this medication called Tamoxicen it halves my chances to 1 in 6. So obviously I’ve been taken for a ride lately but we will come up with a plan.
My personal plan is to do the genetic testing and find out if I have a genetic mutation that puts me at an even higher risk, if so then I will in the next 5 years or so be getting a double mastectomy and implants. My hubs calls it boobie shopping lmao. If I don’t I will be taking this medication and be monitored yearly so we can catch things as they show up, if they show up. I’m not sure what life is going to throw at me next but I know I can handle it. Good news I lost 26 pounds only 5.5 was from the actual breast tissue removal….come on you know you were curious.
I share all this for two reasons; One I need to tell someone before I just randomly scratch out some poor person’s eyes in the grocery store and Two please for the love of god if your insurance will cover it please get checked. Get your mammogram even if you are under 40, it might just save your life and give you time to make a plan in case you end up in my shoes.
Thank you anyone who reads these, I know I’m terrible about updating and I’m trying to work on that. I hope nothing but great things for you!!!