So being a stay at home mom of a almost two year old, I am now subjected to horrible kid shows. Katie fell in love with the minions movie much to my chagrin. Luckily it keeps her calm while she’s getting her G-tube feedings or else I’d probably pull out my hair. I have now seen this movie more times then I can count and can quote the movie word for word at this point. So here are some observations I’ve noticed after my millionth time of seeing it.
SPOILERS AHEAD FAIR WARNING!!!!!!!!!! Also some cussing!
So the movie starts off and they eventually meet humans. They go from caveman to Pharaohs to Count Dracula to finally Napoleon. Now here’s were it gets a little messy geographically. They show them with Napoleon in the snow, if you know history this must be Russia right? So anyhow they mess up get chased away by the soldiers and go live in an ice cave. Okay so they have to be in Siberia or in the Arctic. blah blah blah 3 decide to leave the cave to find a villain to work for they end up at the sea and row their way to NYC. blah blah blah 30 minutes later the tribe decide to meet up with our titular minions in England. According to IMDB the minons were in Antarctica. WHAT!?! HOW! There is no polar bears in Antarctica NONE. So they run away from the polar bear end up on an ice floe to be greeted by grizzly bears on the other side. (for this to make sense they had to be in the arctic because that’s were polar bears live and rowed across to Alaska) anyhow no instead they end up in Sydney, Australia (I imagine by magic) travel across Australia and go to India (don’t get me started on that one) to the USA then on a plane to get to England. WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY IS THIS. My husband says I’m looking too much into this and I agree but you’re telling me not ONE of the people working on this movie ever looked at a globe and didn’t realize that the minions way of travel makes no sense. NO ONE. I want to strangle the people who made this movie. Also how can they wear overalls when they don’t have shoulders.
Rant over now I’ll go back to watching those yellow tic tac a-holes again to appease the baby.